


Its Okay

by LilRedFox



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Anxiety, Comforting Tyler, Gen, Gen or Pre-Slash, M/M, Poor Josh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-26
Updated: 2017-04-10
Packaged: 2018-09-25 05:02:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9803657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilRedFox/pseuds/LilRedFox
Summary: Josh is feeling anxious.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Twenty One Pilots fic. Most of the ideas of how anxious Josh is comes from personal experience, so he could be ooc.

Josh POV

"Okay, okay, okay. You can do this. You're just going o the goddamn store.  _Alone._ But a store nonetheless," 

It was a poor attempt at a pep talk, as it only succeeded in making him even more nervous. He just has to get one stupid item, so why was this so hard.

Ever since he was a child simple tasks: knocking on someone's door, purchasing items at the check out isle, ordering food, and phone calls were near impossible. He's only been able to get over a few of these illogical worries, but at times he just couldn't hold down his worries.

He let out a frustrated wine, comparable to a child who had missed their nap. Josh knows he's being ridiculous, but he can't help it. At least Tyler wasn't here to see this, for he'd left with Mark to do one thing or another. If only Tyler hadn't said "Hey Josh, can you pick me up some Red bull," as he left. Caught off guard, he'd immediately answered yes.

After pacing back and forth for another ten minutes, he manages to work up his nerve and leaves for the store. Dread fills up in his stomach with each step. "Oh god, no." is chanted in the back of his mind. He's halfway there when his feet stop, refusing to listen. He wants to cry, this week has been the worst. First he messes up during a live show, then he says something stupid, and now this. Tyler works so hard and he can't even bother to get him a drink. _'Some friend I am.'_

Taking a deep breath, he forces himself to walk the rest of the way. Upon entering the store, what little confidence he had built up crumbles away. Its rush hour, the store is packed to the brim with noisy people. Each one judging Josh. With his bright yellow hair and tattoos that scream "Punk".

He makes a bee line to the energy drinks, having come along with Tyler before. All he needs to do is get the drink, pay for it, go home, and heal. Of course, nothing goes as planned. 

An imaginary barrier keeps Josh away from the check out line. The cashier is a monster, laughing around bits of skin stuck in her teeth. Everyone is looking, some whispering to each other. There is no way he can do this. Even though it's all in his head. Panic settles in and Josh sets the Red Bull down intent on running the whole way home. Home, as in the tour bus. 

He knows he must be a sight to see, rushing out of the store like a madman. When the tour bus is within his sights he stops running, to catch his bearings somewhat. Walking inside the tour bus he realizes that no ones here yet. 

Sighing, he shuffles to the bathroom and turns on the sink. In an attempt to calm down, he begins to take deep breaths. Inhale. Pause. Exhale. Pause. Inhale. He repeats until he doesn't feel as if he just tangled with a wild tiger.

Emotionally and physically exhausted, Josh decides to turn in for a nap. Maybe Tyler would forget about asking him for Red Bull. Josh sure hopes he does. 

Only, he can't help but worry that Tyler will be disappointed at him. Such worries flood his thoughts as he drifts to sleep. 

                                                                          ............

He wakes up an hour later to the sound of Tyler returning. Usually this wouldn't wake Josh up, but this time he's calling out his name. 

"Jooooosh, hey Josh. Are you up? Josh, Jishwa?," Josh gets up to notify Tyler of his whereabouts," Oh, did you get me Red Bull? I would've gotten some myself, sadly I've been working on a song and didn't get the chance."

"Uh.." Josh freezes up, not wanting to admit he was to chicken to get one item. 

Tyler gave a questioning look in response. 

"I uh I f-fell asleep."  _'Good one, he'll definitely believe that.'_

"You forgot, didn't you," a hesitant nod," Oh, that's okay. We can get some now. Let's go in a few minutes." 

Josh paled, he did not want to return to the store so soon. He'd embarrassed himself with how he'd rushed out of the store. The store clerk would recognize him and laugh. There's no way.  _'Come on, you've already disappointed him by not getting the drink. The least you can do is go, you can't say no.'_

"Uh... Okay. That sounds good." He swallows

He turns away, praying that Tyler isn't looking to deep, in order to grab his shoes from the back of the tour bus _._

"Josh?"

"Y-," a pause to clear his throat," Yeah." 

"Are you feeling alright?" he inquires 

"Of course, still a little hazy from my nap. That's all." He turns away again, missing the look of disbelief on Tyler's face. _'No one else feels this way, so why must I?'_   A numb feeling overtakes Josh as if he's wading through murky water. He barely registers it when Tyler says "Let's go."

He does his best to seem alert, he really does, but he can't help but zone out. Too many thoughts distract him from Tyler's remarks. Eventually he catches on and allows the walk to continue in silence. Josh feels bad for being relieved the moment he notices Tyler has stopped talking. Whenever he goes numb, speaking becomes a chore. Nothing good ever comes out of being in this state. He's too sensitive and making Tyler worry. He couldn't help but think ' _I'm a terrible friend. Why can't I just be normal and talk?_

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long.

They get to the store in no time. If you count the worlds longest silence as no time. The store isn't as packed as earlier, Josh notices with a sigh. He must've been too obvious in his relief because Tyler gave him a concerned look. "Are you okay?"

"Y-y," he coughed to clear his throat," Yeah, I'm fine.

Tyler didn't believe the obvious lie, for he continued to question Josh. "What happened?" his voice full of concern. They walked down an aisle before Josh could think of what to say. " It's stupid, I'm just being over dramatic." 

Tyler opened his mouth to say something, but stopped in favor of grabbing the Red Bull. The duo made their way to the front of the store. Just as they were about to enter the line, Josh stopped. "I'll wait over there." He pointed to a bench diagonal from the check out line. "You're joking, right?" Josh shook his head and walked to the bench before Tyler could convince him not to.

Big mistake that was. Without Tyler right next to him, there was nothing keeping him tied down. He became more aware of the people and noises around him. Everything was too loud; he knew that Tyler was in the line, but the cash register blocked his figure.  _'Okay, okay. You can do this. You're a big mighty dragon, no one can hurt you!'_ He began to image himself turning into a ferocious dragon, the kind that was feared and admired by all. All of the shoppers and workers turned into towns people or other supernatural creatures. Josh felt himself relax, changing the setting had helped him since he was a child. An upset person yelling at someone nearby? Turn them into a mindless troll! As long as no one was talking directly to him he could do this.

Which is why as soon as a man sat next to him and began to chat, he was thrown out of his blissful day dream. 

"Lovely weather were having." Josh nodded in response.

" Today's been a long day for me. I've been running errands all day because my lady refuses to do anything for herself. Not that I mind," he paused waiting for a reply," She's the best, just doesn't know-"

"Josh, I'm all checked out let's go." Tyler interrupted the man abruptly, to Josh's relief. He's been feeling that a lot lately, relieved then anxious then relieved then anxious, like a never ending cycle. 

The walk back to the tour bus was much like the walk there, only Tyler didn't give up and stop talking. The whole way there was filled with Tyler trying to see what was bothering Josh so much. It's not that this was the first time Josh has behaved this way, it's just that this was the longest in one period of time. Usually he'd act different on and off, Josh had been acting this way for a week, maybe two weeks. 

"Josh, we need to talk. You're acting strangely and it's making me worry. Did someone say something to you?" Josh shook his head no in response. Sighing he opened his mouth to talk.

"No one said anything. I told you, I'm just being over-dramatic, that's all." Tyler abruptly sat down in the middle of a sidewalk, looking every bit like a dissatisfied toddler. 

"What are you doing!" 

"I'm not moving until you tell me what's wrong." He emphasized his words with a hmph!

Josh sighed, he knew Tyler would be very understanding about his situation. Unfortunately, his anxiety didn't know that. His throat closed up every time he went to talk about his little friend. He tried to command his voice to speak, to explain, but nothing happened. Frustrated with himself and Tyler, he decided to walk by himself. Tyler would follow eventually. He walked two blocks before he realized that, true to his word, Tyler hadn't gotten up.  He let out a noise that sounded some where between a groan and sob, before turning back. 

"I told you, I'm not moving until you tell me what's wrong. Is it something I did?" Concern flooded his eyes.

"No, you didn't do anything. And I can't tell you because every time I try to tell you -"  His voice faded out, no longer under his control.

"Tell me what?" 

"Nothing." he whispered and sat down next to Tyler, they were going to be here for a while. 

" Are you sick?!" Josh's sudden loss of voice most likely made him come to that assumption. Plus he had been 'sleeping' a lot more lately.

"No, yes? Not in the way your probably thinking."  Tyler was on the right track with sick. He was ill just not physically.

Tyler spouted up with even more concern," Your dying!"

"What? No, I'm not dying." Tyler deflated with relief

"Then what's wrong!" He said this sharply, startling Josh, and himself judging his reaction to his own voice.

"Uhh umm." Josh tried to reply, but Tyler had, as previously stated, startled him. They'd been out there for a while, and Tyler was probably losing his patience, or maybe he was just worried.  _'Come on, Just say it. One word that's all'_

After a series of attempts, he finally said it "Anxiety" although it sounded more like anzeety.

"What?"

" An.... xiet..y"

"Anxiety?" Josh nodded tensely, ready to flee at any sign of trouble. It was ridiculous plan, he and Tyler lived together.

"Oh, that makes sense. Why didn't you just tell me? I mean..." Tyler kept rambling on, but Josh zoned him out. In favor of calming his heart. Which by the way was pounding faster than the metronome for a Skrillex album. He curled up, hugging his knees. He felt his breathing pick up, he knew this would happen.  _'Stupid, stupid. He doesn't care! You shouldn't of told him. He'll think you're weak. He can't have someone like you with him! No, no ,no'_

Everything got louder and quieter at the same time. Everything was too much.

"Josh, Josh!", he realized that Tyler was holding him," You need to breath, can you copy my breaths?"

Josh nodded.

In 123

Out 123

In 1234

Out 1234 

In 12345

Out 1234

They continued the breathing exercise long after Josh's breathes had calmed down. 

"Are you able to walk?" 

"Y-yea" He stood up on wobbly legs.

"Let's go home then." 

                     ---------------------------------------------------------------------

                                                                          A few months later

" Josh, I have an idea. What if we tell our fans about your Anxiety. That way you'll be able to hear stories from people who are going through the same thing as you!" He puffed out his chest

" I don't know, let me thing about it. It took me a lot to tell you, I'm not sure if I have it in me to tell so many people." Tyler sat down and put on his"thinking face" as Josh had dubbed it

"I know, we can show them. In like a pre-made video." Josh nodded, that could work

"Yay, Maaark! We have an idea."

"Marks not here, you can tell him when he get's back." Josh informed

                                                                                     The End

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed it. Ending it was impossible so the ending may or may not be the worst in history. Let me know if you found any mistakes.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed it. Leave a kudos or something, I feed off of them. There's a second chapter coming, so don't worry!


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